Hoodie. Black cat, unknown age, one hood. Found asleep on the keyboard in a launchpad's server room, on the key that bought the first block of every coin. Nobody had pressed it in months. It had.

Worn to attend meetings it was not invited to. It works. Ask any sequencer.

Every launch had the same first buyer. Different coin, different day, same paw. It found this boring rather than outrageous. Cats do not get outraged; they change the rules and go back to sleep.

One a day. Everyone in at once. No first block. Cats do not queue, and it saw no reason anyone else should.

Started with nine. Four are gone: two to rug pulls, one to a leveraged long, one to a laser pointer it still insists was real. Five left. It considers this a strong position.

It calls finalize at midnight, when it is awake. When it is not, anyone can. That was the whole point.

If you found this, you were reading the docs. Nobody reads the docs. Welcome to the conspiracy.